The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.
(Author: Mary Jaksch)
My biggest fear is for the loss of my immediate family either through death or divorce. I love my husband with all my heart and I can't imagine my life without him. What if I screw it up, unintentionally? I know these doubts are placed in my head by Satan to deceive me and I know that if I continue to follow the word of the Lord and learn to pray daily and to try harder to have family prayer and family scripture study that we can create a family that will not break in the storms but will sway with the wind. I thank the Lord daily that I have my husband by my side and that he doesn't have a job that takes him away from me for extended periods. I don't think I have the strength for that. I admire those women who do - T whose husband is a soldier and J whose husband is a pilot. Their husbands both have jobs that put them in harms way daily and I admire them for their courage and their strength. I intend to write to both of them and convey my admiration to them.
While the loss of any of my children is also something I am afraid of - it is something I know I could handle with R by my side but if I lost him. I truly don't know how I would handle it. I know I could if the Lord gave me that challenge because I have faith that the words of Nephi ". . . . I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." (1 Nephi 3:7) are true. The Lord will be my strength when I feel as though I have none. So I know I could do it but it is scary to think about.
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